Real-Life ABA During the Holidays: What It Looks Like Inside Real Families

If the holidays make your house louder, your routine messier, and your child more sensitive, you’re not alone.

For many families, this season is filled with traditions, visits, and meaningful moments. But it also brings early mornings, crowded homes, disrupted routines, and a level of unpredictability that can feel overwhelming. What’s meant to be special can quickly become exhausting, especially for children who rely on consistency to feel safe and regulated.

For parents and caregivers, the holidays often feel like one more layer added to an already full day. There are schedules to manage, guests to host, meals to prepare, and emotions running high.

ABA doesn’t try to create a “perfect holiday routine.” It supports families in the days they are actually living, with flexibility, empathy, and realistic expectations.

In this post, we show how ABA appears in real life during the holidays through five common moments of a December day, without rigid routines or unrealistic demands, just support inside real homes.

1. When the Day Starts Hard, Small Choices Can Change Everything

During busy holiday weeks, mornings often start earlier than usual. Children may wake up overtired, overstimulated, or excited about what’s coming, while parents are running on little sleep.

On this particular morning, Liam walks into the living room already upset and unsure of what to do next. His mom is tired too; she stayed up late wrapping gifts and cleaning after everyone went to bed. Both of them are starting the day with low energy.

Instead of beginning with a long instruction like, “Get dressed, brush your teeth, and eat breakfast,” the therapist helps Mom start with something smaller and clearer. She offers Liam a simple choice: “Do you want your cars or your book first?”

Liam pauses, then points to the cars. That small moment of choice helps him feel more grounded and sets a calmer tone for the morning. Rather than escalating emotions, the day begins with cooperation and connection.

ABA isn’t about control. It’s about support. Supporting regulation first makes learning and communication possible. This same philosophy is explored in Parent-Led ABA: Why It Works for Families.

2. When Visitors Arrive, Participation Doesn’t Have to Look the Same

By mid-morning, family members begin to arrive: grandparents, an uncle, and a couple of cousins. Everyone walks in talking loudly, ready for hugs and greetings. The energy in the room shifts quickly.

Liam doesn’t know how to respond. He stays near the couch, watching from a distance. His body language shows uncertainty, not defiance.

Older ABA approaches might have pushed him to greet everyone right away. Modern ABA works differently. Instead of forcing interaction, the therapist suggests giving Liam a way to participate that feels safe, such as waving from where he is or standing next to Mom until he feels ready.

After a few minutes, Liam gives a small wave. That’s enough. Participating in a way that feels accessible to the child is still participation, and removing pressure helps the moment stay positive.

Families can explore more examples of natural learning moments like this in Everyday Routines, Everyday Wins With ABA.

3. When Mealtime Gets Chaotic, Behavior Is Still Communication

As lunchtime approaches, the kitchen fills with noise and movement. Conversations overlap while Mom tries to set plates and answer questions from relatives.

Liam keeps opening and closing the refrigerator, ignoring her calls to come sit down.

Rather than stopping the behavior immediately, the therapist considers what Liam might be communicating. The noise and activity are overwhelming, and the fridge offers something predictable and regulating.

The therapist suggests a clear, simple sequence: “First pasta, then fridge.”

The message is concrete and easy to understand. Liam hesitates, then chooses pasta first. He still needs reminders, and the moment isn’t perfect, but it’s progress inside a very real situation.

Behavior is communication. This perspective aligns with the values outlined in the BACB Ethics Code, which emphasize dignity, context, and emotional well-being.

4. When Emotions Escalate, Connection Comes First

Later in the afternoon, Liam’s cousin grabs his favorite toy without asking. The moment escalates quickly, and Liam starts crying loudly in the middle of the living room.

Instead of focusing on stopping the crying, the therapist helps Liam express what he needs. With guidance, he practices requesting the toy back using words or gestures, while Mom supports both children in taking turns.

The interaction lasts only a short time, but it ends more calmly than similar moments in the past. No one is shamed or rushed. Everyone feels supported.

These emotional moments are especially common during overstimulating weeks like the holidays. They may feel small, but they are meaningful learning opportunities.

Families looking for additional child-centered guidance can explore ASAT’s parent-friendly resources: https://asatonline.org/for-parents/

5. When Bedtime Isn’t Perfect, Familiar Anchors Still Help

By the end of the day, the house is still buzzing. Guests linger, dishes are being cleared, and bedtime starts later than usual. Liam is clearly tired but overstimulated.

Instead of trying to recreate the entire bedtime routine, the therapist helps Mom focus on just a few familiar anchors: a favorite book, one calming object, and a simple phrase like, “After the book, it’s time to rest.”

Even though everything else about the day has changed, these small pieces of consistency help Liam settle. Bedtime doesn’t have to be perfect to be effective.

What This Story Shows

ABA during the holidays isn’t about rigid structure or perfect behavior. It’s about supporting families through the real moments they face: early mornings, noisy rooms, big emotions, and unpredictable schedules.

The goal isn’t to make the day flawless. It’s to make it more manageable, calmer, and more connected for both the child and the caregiver.

If the holidays don’t feel perfect in your home, that’s okay. ABA was created for real life, not perfect days.

At BeYou, our approach is always child-centered, flexible, and grounded in empathy. Holidays may be busy, but they’re also full of small learning opportunities and moments of connection. ABA fits naturally into the life you’re already living.

If you’d like to explore more gentle, modern ABA ideas, you can browse our blog or talk to our team.