Small Wins, Soft Starts: Beginning the New Year With Calm and Connection

The holidays are over, but your home still feels off. Mornings are slower than usual, bedtime feels harder, and your child seems more sensitive than before. You may be feeling tired, frustrated, and wondering why things haven’t gone back to normal yet. 

If this sounds familiar, you’re not doing anything wrong. This is where many families find themselves at the end of the year. The days after the holidays often leave families in a limbo-like state. 

The busiest moments have passed, but routines are still unsettled. Energy is low, emotions are closer to the surface, and expectations for a “fresh start” can feel overwhelming. This period is not a setback. It’s an adjustment.

In this article, we’ll explain why the end of the year can feel harder than expected, why soft starts work better than big resets, what small wins families can focus on right now, and how ABA supports families during this transition without adding pressure.

Why Things Feel Harder After the Holidays (And Why That’s Normal)

Many families expect life to return to normal once the holidays are over. Instead, they notice more emotional reactions, less flexibility, and more fatigue. Children may show increased irritability or resistance, and caregivers often feel more exhausted now than they did during the holidays themselves.

Stress does not disappear immediately. It builds over time. For neurodivergent children, sensory overload can linger long after events end. According to Autism Speaks, loud environments, bright lights, crowded spaces, and unpredictable schedules can continue to affect a child’s nervous system even after the holidays are over.

When children struggle during the last week of December, it’s easy to worry about regression. In most cases, what families are seeing is recovery. This adjustment period is something many families experience, especially when routines change quickly. We talk more about what this looks like inside real homes in Real-Life ABA During the Holidays: What It Looks Like Inside Real Homes.

Caregivers feel this delayed response, too. The Child Mind Institute explains that prolonged stress combined with disrupted routines often leaves both children and adults feeling depleted once the busy season ends. Wanting things to feel normal again is understandable. Having trouble getting there right away is also normal.

Why Starting Small Helps Kids Regulate Faster Than Big Resets

January often brings pressure to reset everything at once. New routines, new goals, and the idea that things should suddenly feel different. For children, especially those who rely on predictability, this pressure can make regulation harder, not easier.

The American Psychological Association reminds us that behavior is communication, not defiance. When children struggle during transitions, it usually reflects stress, confusion, or unmet needs rather than a loss of skills. Pushing harder during this time often increases resistance instead of progress.

Many parents worry that slowing down means losing momentum, but this is a common misunderstanding. We address this concern in more detail in ABA Myths vs. Reality: What Parents Should Know.

Soft starts work because they respect how the nervous system recovers. A soft start does not mean removing structure. It means reintroducing structure in a way children can tolerate. Soft starts are not doing less. They are doing what the regulation requires.

Small Changes That Help Families Feel More Stable Right Now

During the final days of December, progress looks different. Small, realistic adjustments often matter more than big goals. Many families find that simplifying mornings reduces tension. Limiting the routine to just a few steps, such as using the bathroom, getting dressed, and eating breakfast, can make the start of the day feel more manageable.

Having one predictable moment each day also helps. A consistent snack time, reading together before bed, or a short walk can rebuild a sense of safety. These familiar moments are often where progress happens, something we explore further in Everyday Routines, Everyday Wins with ABA.

Connection before transitions can make a noticeable difference. Sitting with your child for even one minute before asking them to move on can reduce resistance. The Child Mind Institute describes this process as co-regulation, which plays a key role in helping children manage stress.

Visual supports can also be helpful when days feel disorganized. Picture schedules help children understand what to expect, even when routines are not fully back. Many families use simple tools from Do2Learn to support transitions and reduce anxiety.

When caregivers are actively involved in these moments, children are able to practice skills in real-life situations. This is why Parent-Led ABA: Why It Works for Families is especially effective during times of transition.

How ABA Supports Families When Routines Aren’t Back Yet

ABA support during this time of year looks different from what it does during stable routines. The focus shifts away from introducing new demands and toward supporting regulation, flexibility, and caregiver confidence.

During end-of-year transitions, ABA often emphasizes simple First/Then language, choice-making to give children a sense of control, short reminders before transitions, and proactive sensory support. The Child Mind Institute explains how unmet sensory needs often lead to increased stress during periods of change.

Ongoing guidance helps families adapt in real time, especially when routines are still shifting. This is part of how ABA coaching supports families every step of the way.

For families preparing to ease back into January routines, Autism Speaks offers transition toolkits that support gradual adjustment instead of abrupt change. ABA works best when it adapts to the family’s current capacity, and in late December, that capacity is often limited.

Why January Doesn’t Need to Start on January 1st

No rule says routines must be fully restored on the first day of the new year. Many families spend early January slowly adjusting sleep schedules, reintroducing structure, and helping children regulate again.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, gradual transitions help reduce emotional distress and support long-term regulation. Progress comes from consistency, not rushing. A soft start allows families to move forward without creating additional stress.

Caregiver Regulation Matters Too

Caregivers often carry the emotional weight of transitions while still feeling depleted themselves. But caregiver regulation directly affects child regulation. Even small actions, such as stepping outside for fresh air or pausing before responding, can shift the tone of the day. Psychology Today highlights how caregiver stress impacts children’s nervous systems.

Supporting caregivers is a core part of effective ABA, something we explore in Caregiver Support with ABA: From Stress to Confidence.

Ending the Year With Calm, Not Pressure

If this season feels heavier than expected, it does not mean you are failing. It means your family is still regulating. Calm does not come from rushing back into routines. It comes from small moments of safety, consistency, and connection.

Many of these strategies happen outside formal sessions, as we explain in ABA at Home: Transform Everyday Moments Into Powerful Growth.

At BeYou, we support families through real transitions, not ideal timelines. We help families move forward through small steps, gentle structure, and strategies that fit real homes and real energy levels. Families who need extra support during this transition can contact BeYou to talk about what feels most helpful right now.

If the end of this year looks slower than planned, that is not a setback. It is the work that makes progress possible.